![]() My ex-girlfriend who was so drunk out of her mind that she didn’t realize she was forcing herself on me that night, that I was pushing her away. I date regardless of gender, and my experience has been that all people can do this. To realize that that’s how entrenched rape culture is – that you have no idea whether or not you’ve violated someone’s consent.Īnd that’s not to say that this is a cis men’s-only problem – because it’s not. I want you to read this and not be sure if you’ve ever done it, to trace back all of your steps and still not come to a conclusion. ![]() Guys who probably have no idea how horribly they fucked up – how they’ve left me with a rotting knot in my stomach and a fear of saying no. Men who, despite what I’m relaying here, I don’t necessarily hold a grudge against. Men who loved me deeply (yes, even the toxic ones). It could be you.Īnd I want you to sit with that possibility.īecause although some of these stories are associated with men who were also manipulative or emotionally abusive toward me, most of them were deeds done by “normal” guys. ![]() Not just because the specific guys in question, whose mistakes I’m hanging out to dry here, don’t need to be named to recognize themselves – but also because, truth be told, it could be any guy. “I’m gonna tell a little story,” she starts, “about the ones I left and left me / You’ll know if you’re one ‘cause you know what you’ve done.”Īnd I think that’s why I’m writing this anonymously. There’s this song that I like by LA-based pop-punk band The Dollyrots called “ Watch Me Go (Kiss Me, Kill Me).” In it, cutie pie lead singer Kelly Ogden divulges the tales of multiple men in her life who have done her wrong. ( Content Warning: sexual violence, rape culture) A person sits in bed, their hands grasping at the hair on their head, appearing distressed.
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